|Posted on September 10, 2018 at 4:00 PM|
Salvage, Recovering, Reusing are synonyms for recycling. When it comes to human relationships there is a realization that what we are seeking is someone to validate and understand us and then respond, that is the connection to listening and hearing or Recycling Reconnection. Unfortunately, due to a person’s past experiences they may not respond to you in the manner you wish or expect. This is when it’s time to recycle your reconnection.
There is a way to salvage, recover and reuse learned skills that have been taught from early life experiences such as your teachers. At a recent event I witnessed a choir teacher humming aloud for a moment as her students talked. They immediately stopped, their eyes and body turned towards her. Silence was evident as she gave instruction. This teacher has conditioned them that when they hear her hum they need to become focus and present, to listen and comprehend with her directions. There is a benefit to do this. It can consist of consequences (good or bad), and a positive feeling state. What is important to understand is that is the circle of communication in her classroom, perhaps in the future they will be given the opportunity to speak, be heard and validated either with an action or verbal comprehension by the listener.
Problems arise early or later in a relationship if there was no foundation of listening and hearing what is stated, or even hummed. If there has been a listen-hear- validate the person by mirroring ex: repeat to confirm what they said and what you think you heard, then respond then reconnection takes place.
Give it a try..